Rob called me a little before 6 p.m. Funny how quickly I am able to react when I hear my phone say, "Call from Gaylord Hospital." I had been sleeping when the call came in. I don't even remember getting out of bed to answer it!
He told me he was in jail. He's angry because he ordered a new kneecap, but they won't bring him one. I asked him what he had for supper and he told me it was something metallic. I asked if he finished it all and he said yes, because he had an appetite for destruction. (Has he been listening to music?? :P ) He wanted to know where I was. It breaks my heart.
He wants to be home and I'm really feeling like he needs to be home. He needs to have familiarity. I also think he needs to feel like he's taking care of me. He made a comment to me earlier today, asking me why I'm "playing dumb." He said I'm acting like he doesn't know what he's talking about. I feel so bad. I try to play in to conversations about bed bugs and foul balls, but I've also been told that I should be trying to make him focus and reason. I guess I'm just in a difficult position. :S
I was going to try to stay home tomorrow, but I honestly need the therapy as much as Rob does. It took a lot for me to leave so early today. I only spent five hours at the hospital, which is about half of what I normally spend there with him. I like being with him. We've never spent so much time together! :P I wish we weren't vacationing in a hospital, battling a traumatic brain injury and MS collectively, but that is the lemonade we've gotten from our lemons.
"Love is long-suffering and kind. Love...does not look for its own interests. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) That said, if my husband is angry that the nurses aren't bringing him the kneecap he ordered, I will support and comfort him. If he wants to take a walk up and down the hallways of the hospital to find foul balls, or go somewhere that doesn't exist, I will be there to make sure he has appropriate footwear on so he doesn't slip, and will have my hands on his sides to help him keep his balance until he's tired of that and wants to go back to bed. If he wants to think his physical therapy sessions are really for me, I'll be happy to hold his hand and do the exercises with him to the best of my ability.
Rob and I met on August 25, 1994. We exchanged our marriage vows on April 8, 2001. Our wedding song is "Strong, Strong Wind", by Heart. Never have there been more perfect lyrics for a couple!
We walked away before
There were too many storms
We could not get through
But I still kept loving you
Now fate brought you back to me
This time I won't let you leave
I'm holding onto you, forever
I'm never letting go
The time I spent away from you
Was time that made me see
I need to live this life with you
I need you here with me
Now it would take a strong, strong wind
To take me from your arms again
To take me from your side
It would take a strong, strong wind
To pull away this heart of mine
To make us break apart this time
It would take a strong, strong wind
Hearts sometimes lose their way
But they find their way back someday
To the arms they need
And I need you like the air I breathe
The time I spent away from you
Was time lost in the rain
I'm meant to live this life with you
That's something nothing can change
And it would take a strong, strong wind
To take me from your arms again
To take me from your side
It would take a strong, strong wind
To tear away this heart of mine
To make us break apart this time
It would take a strong, strong wind
This time I'm holding on with everything
This time I won't let go for anything
So, tomorrow when I visit with Rob at the hospital, if he wants to complain to the nurses that he hasn't received his new kneecap, I'll be there to back him up. ;) That's my job.
rob is not even close to being able to come home...
ReplyDeleteyou are also a mother, that's your job too....you will need to wean rob from so much of your time and take care of yourself and your kids here hun.
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm a mother. My children are being cared for and are having fun. If I were sitting home all day, they'd want to be doing what they've been doing anyway.
ReplyDeleteRob's coming home eventually and I need to know as much as possible about how to take care of him and understand him while dealing with my own disability.
Rob can not be left unattended. He may not ever be able to be left unattended - who knows. Every piece of paper I've been given from the doctors mentions the severity of his not being able to understand safety or make appropriate decisions.
Right now, the kids are enjoying their summer. They're enjoying hobbies and friends and are getting to take their minds off of this situation a little. It'll be a much different story when Rob comes home. There are going to be huge adjustments to make.
Crys, you're a good wife. Spending as much time with Rob, and learning as much about his recovery, is going to be invaluable to helping him, you, and your children adjust once you are reunited. You're also setting a great example for your children about commitment and about digging in no matter how tough things get. And, it sounds like the kids are being supportive in their own way by giving you the time to be there for your husband and their father. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThank you. (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete