Gaylord, Day One

Rob's been at Gaylord for one day and they've already made sure he moved his bowels, they're treating his dehydration, he got washed up and dressed this morning, and even walked with assistance to the bathroom so he could use the toilet.
The Speech Therapist met with him this morning and okayed him to stop using straws to drink with and discontinued the requirement for mooshed-up food.
The Occupational Therapist came in shortly after Joel and I arrived for our visit today. Rob was pretty confused and not making much sense at all. One of the nurses said it was because he was bound up and dehydrated. I can understand that. And I'm glad they're actively working to make him feel better. :)
Later on in the afternoon, the Physical Therapist worked with Rob a little bit. Again, he wasn't feeling well, so it was a short session. She said that he'll be really getting into his therapy program on Monday down in their gym. She told Rob to enjoy his last day of rest tomorrow. :P
I'm not holding up too well today. It seems like as soon as I relaxed, my body began shutting down. I'm having a hard time talking and swallowing, and a really hard time walking. I probably should've taken my wheelchair today. I hated having to leave Gaylord early this afternoon, but I was fading so quickly I needed to make sure I would be okay for the ride home. I can't eat anything because it feels like I'm swallowing shards of glass. I'm going to head upstairs to lay down for the rest of the evening and make the trek back down to Wallingford to be by my husband tomorrow morning. Goodnight! :)

Lovely...

Apparently Rob also has a broken vertebrae in the back of his neck that no one mentioned. :/ Gaylord filled us in.

Confirmation!

Just got the official word that Rob's been accepted to Gaylord and will be taken there by ambulance today at 1 o'clock. This is a fantastic step on the road to recovery. :)

Moving Day?

I was happier to see the one-on-one person was awake when I arrived at UMASS this morning. And to see that Rob's bed was dry. I immediately got him into some comfortable pants and asked him what he wants to do today. He didn't reply right away, but then said, "I still have delayed reaction." He had his french toast and peaches for breakfast, then I received a call from Gaylord Hospital. They have a bed! :) They just need to obtain a No Med Pay letter from Geico in order to get authorization from Anthem for him to move in. The doctor came in to check on Rob and said they were working on getting him somewhere with room, so I let them know. They absolutely agreed that he has to begin aggressive therapy and needs to get out of here. I'm concerned that he hasn't had a bowel movement in over a week. His right foot is warm and red, which concerns me, too. That's the leg with an oozing wound on the knee. The nurse took a look, but didn't say much more than, "That's weird." I helped his PCA get him freshened up for the day and now he's napping. I have all the things he needs to go to the rehabilitation hospital in the van, so I guess today's plan is to wait for the big move. I'm not saying he's definitely going to Gaylord because I've seen how plans change around here. I'll certainly keep the updates coming. Thanks for all the continued support.

George

It's just a little after 8:30 pm now. Rob's accident was one week ago in about two hours. Mom Comeau and I visited Gaylord today and it just really depressed me. So, I've been sitting at Rob's bedside talking with George. George is assigned to Rob as his one-on-one person until 11pm. He told me not to worry so much about the rehab decision. He said to just get him to the first available place so that he can start to get better as soon as possible. The case manager here had given me a brochure for a place called Fairlawn here in Worcester. George tells me it's a good place. It's the closest place to where we live and I guess insurance arrangements can be made since the other facilities don't have room. Poor George has some personal things going on and I'm hoping our conversation didn't depress him too much. He says this is a reminder that there's always someone worse off than you. I'm thinking that the chain of "worse" has to stop somewhere and it definitely seems like we're the final link. Oh well, George has been good company this evening. I'm sure Rob will be okay once I leave if George is on guard. It's after 11 that I'm worried about. :S

Rehab

Apparently UMASS wants to discharge Rob to rehab today. They haven't been forthcoming about what I should expect and now I have to hurry up and find a place to go with him. Spaulding, Gaylord, and Mount Sinai have no beds available today. I'm hoping they don't just pick a place and send him to it. I'm a bit freaked out by all of this.

Something I didn't even think about!

Upon arriving home this evening, I did as much research as my brain could handle on rehabilitation for Rob's traumatic brain injury. What freaks me out is that these facilities also specialize in MS therapy. I think about our children and feel so badly that now both of their parents' brains aren't working properly. However, since these facilities treat both of our disabilities, our family will get exactly what we need to function together.
Gaylord in Wallingford, CT has moved to the top of my list. All of their rooms are single rooms and accommodations can be made for a family member to spend the night. I'm impressed by the fact that they will come to UMASS and meet with Rob's treating physicians there, meet with Rob and all of us, and make an informed decision collectively as to whether or not Gaylord is the right place for treatment, as well as a personalized care plan based on Rob's specific needs and the needs of our family. They also accept BOTH of our insurances, which is huge!
Here's something I didn't even give thought to, but is very important - THEY ALLOW OUR DOG TO VISIT!!! :D
I expect to receive a call from one of the nursing staff at Gaylord before the end of the week. I confirmed that I wasn't hearing back because UMASS needed to make the referral first. Once the referral is received, they will arrange a meeting at UMASS and we can set up a tour of their hospital. They only do tours on weekdays, which will be difficult, but they do have a beautiful virtual tour on their website.
Rob would be able to receive mail there and visiting hours are from 1 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. They have all kinds of real-life settings, including a grocery store, for use in their care programs. I'm really looking forward to speaking with them further. I hate the thought of Rob living in Wallingford for who-knows-how-long, but I absolutely want him to receive top-notch care.
While I'm also impressed with Spaulding in Boston and feel their facility would be wonderful, they will not accept our secondary insurance and there's a hiccup with our primary insurance. Because we don't know how long Rob will not be able to work, I don't know how long we'll have our primary insurance. Also, our primary insurance is specific to Connecticut.
I don't care much for two of the other facilities UMASS mentioned to me. Mount Sinai at Saint Francis Hospital in Hartford came up somehow. I can't quite remember if it's something I found or something they found. Who cares...Anyway, it's in the middle of the city versus Gaylord being on 500 acres of former farmland. There's the dog thing, and the overnight stay thing...I just really like the idea of Gaylord so much better. I'm trying to think outside the box of convenience on this. I really want Rob to get better. I don't think throwing him into the middle of Hartford when we live in a suburban area will be a good thing for him. They do train station simulation and cross walks with traffic signals, which isn't something Rob needs. I feel more comfortable with the variety of rehabilitation at Gaylord, the customization of treatment, the ammenities, the setting, and the family accessibility there.
Of course, I suppose this could all change if something there creeps me out. I wish Rob could help me decide. :( [He'd hate them all - he's very picky.]

First Day Out of ICU

So, I'm not too impressed with this new area Rob's in. I was told they'd start therapy with him once he got into a regular room, but not one person came into his room all day. One doctor was in early who told me it's good that I spend the day with him because he needs familiarity. At one point, though, his nurse asked me if I'm a nurse. She said I seem like I have medical background in me by the way I'm taking care of Rob. Just instinct, I guess. ;) Anyway, this is going to be a long haul. I need to find out what our insurance will cover as far as a rehab facility, then see where there are beds available before I can start making decisions on that. (This is the crappiest decision I've ever had to make.) I was told that he'll be discharged to rehab as soon as he's awake and talking more. Based on how lively he was today, it's not going to be long before that happens. His mom and I brought toys for him that kept him busy. She played music for him on her phone and he was singing along to some of the words. He recognized people's pictures and was better able to identify his visitors today. He still thinks he's at Day Kimball Hospital, but at least he's aware he's in a hospital. Oh yeah - he wanted to write. He circled numbers and wrote "8290923" twice. Don't know what that is. He wrote "Cyclone" and signed his name. I'm feeling badly about how much the horse and work is on his mind. :/

Visiting

Now that Rob's in a regular room, there are fewer visiting restrictions, but there's much less room. He's also in with another patient, so we will probably not be able to spend as much time with Rob. :(

Neurology

It's 2:30 am Wednesday and I just received a call that Rob's been moved to the Neurology floor, which is awesome, and is now in room 409. :) This is great news! No more ICU!

Crack Head

Seems like Rob's helmet is going to become a hot item. It's a Scorpion EXO and has the lovely words, "crack head" on the back. I was always creeped out by the thing, but it's moved up into the ranks of being one of our family's most prized possessions. I don't like seeing anyone on a motorcycle right now. It stirs up all kinds of anxiety within me. I wish there weren't any motorcycles. For those who insist on two wheels, I hope you're a "crack head."

Sorry

This is a completely selfish post, but I'm beside myself at the moment. I have no idea how to make any decisions right now and I feel completely lost. What am I going to do without MY caregiver and supporter?? Suddenly it seems as though absolutely everything is wrong. :(

Choosing Rehab

I am now faced with having to decide where my husband's going to live for a while. They're referring me to Mount Sinai at St. Francis Hospital in Hartford, or Spaulding Rehab in Boston. I'm told I'd really only be able to go wherever he is on the weekends. :( It seems like they want me to make this decision pretty quickly and I'm too stressed just trying to think about it.

Therapy

Rob's out of bed and sitting in a recliner. :) He's off his IV drip, too. He told the therapist our horse's name is Cyclone and he's brown and black. He said that he makes right handed lays at work. He said his daughter's name is Mindy, but said she's 12 (she's 14). He said Joel's name is Isaiah, which is his middle name. He also said his dog is Jake, which is the name of the dog he had growing up. I said, "No, our dog at home. The little white one." He then said, "Our Jake." LOL

Free Reign

Rob's unrestrained and got his collar off. He's pretty sleepy, but is eating his entire meals and told the doctor about what he does for work. He's sitting up, using the bed like a recliner, but doesn't stay awake too long.

Breakfast

Rob ate his entire breakfast with minimal help from me. He drank his whole carton of milk, too, and asked me to save the orange juice for later. He had french toast and peaches. I was amazed to see he was trying to use the side of his fork to cut the french toast. :) He's all tuckered out from eating now. Should I have let him drink the coffee they brought him? :P They're going to try again to remove the collar in a little while. Also, since he's eating and drinking he may not have to stay on the IV drip. They're pretty confident he'll be able to transfer to a room on the floor soon and start therapy. :) Oh, and he said my name this morning, but told the nurse he was at Day Kimball. He also said the reason he was here was to get a catheter. :P Guess that was on his mind a lot.

Do You Need To Pee?

I've been given my Tuesday instructions. The catheter's out so now I have to keep asking him if he has to pee, then help him use his bedside urinal. Another step closer to the door!

Capable Wife?

I'm seeing the need to grow tentacles.
Rob is doing all he can to take things off of him. His night nurse was upset with me, saying I was over-stimulating him by touching him and standing at his bedside. I guess the rules are different at night. I'm confused. I guess we're supposed to sit in a chair next to the bed without touching him too much. Anyway, he had to get tied down because I didn't have enough hands to prevent him from just about getting an IV out. He figured out how to maneuver himself to be able to reach things and even began pressing the buttons on the bed so he could raise himself upright to be able to get at things easier. Seriously - I was so stressed out by 9:00 p.m., I had to go home. I hated to leave because I feel like he needs someone in that room with him to keep him from hurting himself, but I made sure the night nurse had him secured before I left.
They have moved him to the "Step Down Unit" in the ICU, so he's in room 13 now. It has a nicer view of Worcester, at least, but it's a longer walk to get to his room.
The nurse asked him who I was and he replied, "My wife." He was asked if he knew where he was and he said, "Gate 2." Is that where he works at Loos? Someone tell me, if you know, please. I'm wondering if he thought they asked him where he works.
At one point, he came out and told me that he was thirsty. That was awesome! :) It's great to hear him say something without being prompted to do so. He finished a small can of ginger ale that was left over from the supper they brought him, burped again, then fell back asleep.
I'm off to try to get some rest myself. That is, if I can get up the stairs to my bed. :S

Food!

Wow! Rob ate a bit of mashed potatoes and lemon meringue pie for supper. :) He didn't feed himself, though, because he can't be trusted not to rip his catheter out. He sipped ginger ale and managed a belch. Haha! If he wakes up hungry again, I'll feed him some more of this delicious, pureed hospital cuisine. ;)

Good stuff!

Rob said "Hi dad," and was smiling, telling his date of birth and address, and even drank a little and ate a cracker! :) I'm so happy!!

Hi Mom

Rob's mom got to hear, "Hi Mom" for the first time today. :) What a happy moment!

A possible move?

The neurology team was in with Rob for a while this morning. I haven't been able to speak to a doctor yet, but the nurse told me he's stable enough to be moved to the lower level ICU or the neurology floor. He still follows their commands, but he's not really waking up today. We found out, though that he has another fracture in his chest in addition to the broken rib.

Day 4 Begins

I arrived at the hospital shortly after 6:30 am. I'm telling you, it's a long walk from the emergency room valet to Rob's room up in ICU when you don't know what you're walking up to. His night nurse opened the ICU door for me and filled me in on his night as we walked to his room. She said he was speaking more clearly to her through the night and falling asleep on his own. They put the leg cuffs back on him and I giggled when I saw that he's holding the end of the connection in his hand. He couldn't get them off, so he unplugged them! :P Hopefully he'll wake up soon to say good morning.

Weekend Wrap-Up

I'm going to begin with, "What a nightmare!" I've been feeling like this can't possibly be happening because 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." I just kept imploring Him to stop having so much faith in me! Seriously, I can't bear it anymore and I want it to stop. That Scripture continues on to assure that "along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it." Okay, I'll give Him that one because the only explaination for me to continue standing at this point is divine backing. I'm grateful.
Three days have felt like an eternity. When everyone's around I somehow muster up the ability to keep it together. However, early in the mornings and late in the evenings I sit at Rob's bedside, holding his hand and watching him breathe with a constant flow of tears. What did my husband actually live through Thursday night?
It's amazing that Rob spoke to me just three days after this horrible injury. He didn't really talk afterward, but he was looking for me in the room and would turn to look at the nurse when she came in to poke and prod. The night nurse gave him a little pain medicine to help him have a more relaxing night. He's trying to rip everything off and out of him. I was actually told he may end up with gloves on - gloves that look like boxing gloves - so he can't be so "grabby." It's not to be mean. It's for his own protection. What was really cute is how he tried to give me hugs. He put his arm around my back and patted my back as if he was burping a baby. The back rubbing was a little more gentle. Can't say the same for the hair grab/head rub, though. Poor Rob. :P I wasn't going to let on too much that his affection was on the scary side. I'm just happy to be getting it. :)
Mom and Dad Comeau didn't get to hear him speak, but he waved "hi" to them. It was cute.
I hated to leave the hospital tonight, but I was assured by the night nurses that they were going to just be keeping him calm with the pain medication and watching his breathing. The Respiratory Therapist gave him a breathing treatment, which seemed to help loosen up what he was trying to cough up and also quieted his breathing a bit. He wants to cough so badly, but that broken rib isn't making it easy for him. Right now, the goal is to get him talking and alert so the neurologists can be confident that his ICPs are good and his brain is starting to heal. As soon as that happens, Rob will get to lose the neck brace. Believe me - he wants that thing gone!
I'll be back up there with him bright and early, as usual. We are extremely grateful for everyone's love, support, and encouragement. Even though things are positive right now, Rob is still in critical condition. It's a horrifying thought that something could go wrong, but it is realistic. Thank you for the prayers. Please keep them going out. (((hugs)))

Rob's first words!!!

The doctor was able to take him off the ventilator finally. Rob was his typical hard-to-wake-up self, which was getting scary. But for a few moments he was opening his eyes. It didn't seem like he was really focusing on anything, but I was being a nagging wife. Just about yelling at him in frustration, I was able to get Rob to look at me. His sister, Beth, and her boyfriend, Jimmy, were in his room, too. After hours of poking him, yelling at him, and doing everything else we could think of to try to wake him up, I told him I love him while he focused on me...and he said, "I love you, too." I broke down and laid my head on his chest. I think he was rubbing my arm, but I could only think of those wonderful words my husband spoke after not hearing his voice since he left for work Thursday night. I figured I'd go the extra mile and try to get a kiss out of him. I received my first reciprocated kiss from my husband since my world fell apart 3 days ago! He even said "hi" to his sister, Adele, and responded to her "I love you, Rob" with an "I love you, too." Very exciting progress for today! At this point, I don't know if he'll need more scans. They're concerned that he's been completely out of sedation and not really waking up the way he should. Hopefully things will continue positively...and thank God!

Brain probe's out

They can't take the breathing tube out, but the ICP monitor's out.

Sunday morning

Rob's making great strides! He wiggled his toes and gave a thumbs up on command. He opened his eyes and even followed me when I moved. :) He's being weaned out of sedation and the breathing tube's getting removed. He's so restless, trying to pull everything off, but it's awesome to see. :)

From July 22nd through July 24th

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of love, support, and prayers. James 5:16 gives the assurance that "supplication...has much force."
I decided that the best way to keep everyone informed on how Rob's doing is to keep a blog. Not only will all who are interested be able to read the updates, but the information will be as accurate as possible without being passed along and misinterpreted.
I'll start at the beginning, for those I haven't been able to speak with, or for those who have some of the more popular questions I haven't been able to answer yet.
This is the article from the Norwich Bulletin
Number 1 question: Was he wearing a helmet? YES. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the medical personnel at both hospitals comment on the quality of his helmet and that this situation would be completely different had he not been wearing it. It's in rough shape, but the alternative to the helmet being in rough shape is something I'd rather not think about.
Second most popular question: How did (you) find out? Rob and I were watching the 10 o'clock news together while he had some stuff to eat before heading out to work. He got into his work clothes, packed up his backpack, grabbed his helmet, etc., and headed out the door shortly after 10:30 p.m. Thursday night (July 22nd). He knows to text me when he arrives at work when he takes his bike because I worry about him on it. (I hate the bike.) 11 p.m. rolls around and I start watching the clock a little, but don't worry too much because sometimes he has to get right to work and might text me 1/2 an hour late, once he gets settled in. However, my phone rings at 11:15-ish and it's my brother-in-law, Mike. The immediate panic that something's wrong sets in. Rob hadn't arrived at work and someone found out that there was an accident on the road he drives to work, involving a blue and white motorcycle. I don't much remember screaming at the kids to get into the van or driving to the scene of the accident, but I have the vivid memory of seeing the blinking light at the intersection of Route 44 and Gary Schoolhouse Road in Pomfret and Rob's motorcycle off to the side. On a "normal" day, I can't run. I can't even walk right, so sheer adrenaline carried me as I ran toward the scene as far as they'd let me go. The kids were beside me and I know they started crying as I fell to my knees on the street next to the police cruiser. No one would tell me anything about Rob's condition, but the front of his bike was smashed up and laying underneath the back of the pick-up truck he hit. I sort of remember begging the police officer to get my brother-in-law because I knew Mike was also on his way to the scene, but before we caught up to each other the responders decided that one of the firemen would drive me and the kids to Day Kimball. He made it sound okay to me, like Rob was going to be perfectly fine and I'd be taking him home. At DKH, though, they were prepping him to be airlifted to UMASS, pumping air into his lungs manually. No words can describe how I felt.
The trauma team at UMASS got him stabilized in the ICU after giving him a CAT Scan and doing other testing and x-rays. Again, so much is a blur, but a doctor came in to talk to us and I heard "bleeding on his brain" and lost control. I thought I was going to throw up and just wanted to get to a bathroom. I don't know what early hour of Friday morning we were finally allowed to go in to see him. It was awful. I did take a picture, but I'm not going to post it publicly. Tubes down his throat, wires hooked up everywhere, a whole bunch of IV's, and a neck brace adorning my beloved husband.
A neurosurgeon spoke with me about the need to put a probe through his skull to monitor the pressure in his brain. He explained different things and then asked me for my consent. There I was thinking, "Huh?" I had to tell him I have MS and ask him to tell me everything again so I could figure out what the heck I was doing. We talked about MS for a minute and then he went back into the procedure in a much-easier-to-understand manner. I appreciated that and consented. It took 15 minutes and the probe was in place, adding to the many things already protruding from my husband. It also added another number on the monitor to watch and worry about.
Rob was pretty unresponsive at this point and eerily cold.
His brain sustained a lot of bumping around and has several areas of bruising and bleeding. The most significant injury to his brain is a spot about the size of an egg on his frontal lobe. There's another spot that's affecting the strength on his left side. The blood will eventually become re-absorbed, but when there's bleeding in the brain, the cells where the injury is will die. Therefore, it's most likely that Rob will suffer a personality change. It's expected that he'll be more short-tempered and be more vulgar. The weakness on his left side is expected to improve within a few months, although the doctors have said it's difficult to predict the outcome at this point, since his brain will continue to swell for a few days and then begin to heal.
He's scraped up a little and has some nasty bruises on his inner thighs. He has a broken rib and a bruised lung that's bleeding a bit. Of course, since he ate right before leaving for work, he vomited after his accident and some stuff got into his lungs.
Alright, that brings me up to Saturday, the 24th. I'd say there were some good signs Saturday. He opened his eyes a little! :) The doctors continually brought him off sedation and did, what they call, "holiday." Basically letting him wake up and see how he responds to commands. He hated it. That's a good thing! :P It was clear that the movements he was making were not involuntary. He wanted to rip everything off of himself and was pretty determined to do so. He does have to be tied to the bed so he doesn't hurt himself. At one point while I was holding his hand he kept squeezing. I didn't think about it until I realized he was squeezing three times, stopping, squeezing three times...This is something we do with each other randomly. Three times for "I love you." One of us first, then the other. So, after I figured out he was doing it, I squeezed three times and then he squeezed in response three more times! :D I was so excited and wished I could just grab him and hug him. After that, they really didn't let him come off the sedation that much because the pressure in his brain increased too much when they did it, but I can't stop thinking about that moment.
When the Saturday night nurse came on, we discussed Friday night, since she was his same nurse. She said his ICPs (intercranial pressures) were pretty bad overnight Friday. She also suctioned his lungs and there's quite a bit of blood and "gunk" coming out, which is starting to become a concern. Nothing's more important that his brain injury, of course, but his temperature has been getting very high and his oxygen levels have been getting lower. She told me that there's a certain temperature he's getting close to that, once/if he reaches that, they will need to begin treating the injury to his lung. Not that it's not important to treat. It's just that they want his brain to heal without adding stress to his body.
He remains on a respirator. He scared the heck out of me because started coughing Saturday night. With the tubes down his throat he makes no noise, so he looked like he was convulsing and I almost had a heart attack! Thankfully the nurse was in the room so she let me know what he was doing before I landed on the floor. A doctor came in to speak with me around 11 p.m. He said they don't pull him out of sedation overnight. They periodically try to get a response out of him while he's sedated and they check his vitals and temperature every hour throughout the night, but the majority of the stimulation and neurological testing is done during the day. Comforted enough by that, I made my way home for a little R & R (yeah, right!) before getting up bright and early Sunday morning to make my way back up to hold vigil at my love's bedside.